Almost three and a half years between blog posts - i'm not too sure if that's some kind of record, but i guess at least i have returned!!
Wow, reading back; the emotions and moments are as raw when i read them today as they were at that moment and i guess i have to update a few things before i get back into the flow of properly writing again...
My then fiance and i were married, twice LOL - a simple handfasting in Houston towards the end of 2011, and then an official ceremony in Sydney with my children present in 2012.. I decided (not too sure if i had mentioned it in the past) that the children and i were going to migrate to live in Houston in 2010... My husband was elated, i was nervous, and the Law made me fight for my children's passports for three and a half years due to the games of a dysfunctional ex husband; lot's of poking, prodding and working our way through Family and Passport laws.... August 2013, we were successful... We are currently trying to get help with finances to get us there - at this stage, i can't discuss why...
I have gone from two children in the Spectrum, to four... Three girls and one son! Obviously, that will be a more in depth blog post/s in the future, but again, the other two girls were diagnosed a week apart - so two of my girls were recognised as adults, and i had to use the system against itself for my youngest to be formally identified - my son was the easiest!!! LOL
However, my three oldest (now 26, 24 and 19) "children" have all left home and are flourishing, finding their wings and doing well... My son has been gone for five years now, and i am so proud of the man he has become, in spite of the life we endured for so long... The girls are doing okay and facing challenges as required and navigating life to their best abilities, just like all of us...
The youngest two, are now respectively 9 and 10, and in year 4 and 5 at school - not breaking any academic records, BUT both are ASD students in a mainstream environment - my daughter gets no aide support at all; my son gets about two hours a week, and both love it... My son is becoming quite an outspoken expert in acceptance and conservation as well, and appreciating diversity - he had his first friend come visit last year, and has gone visiting a few times to his friend's home; ALL ASD parents will understand the enormity of that!!
Me?? Where do i begin?? Looking back and reading what i had previously written, thinking i was on the verge of some sort of ultimate breakthrough and i was never ever going to have to struggle with myself or life or anything ever again has made me realise how much ego has a stranglehold on everything we say, do and feel!! How naive i was LOL But i totally get how i felt back then, and i accept i was looking for tufts of thin roots to grasp as i dangled precariously over a huge gaping chasm that was threatening to engulf me at any given moment.... I embrace who i was because without her i wouldn't be sitting here thinking it was time to try this again... Removing the images and affording me some sort of anonymity across the www is a small price to pay... The future is huge for us all, and my kids need protecting... Whatever i write here is public record, and people, i have learned, will manipulate and twist what they find to suit themselves, especially if they dress themselves up in the frock that screams "friend"...
So much to write, so much to share, so much to do... i need to make a promise to myself that i need to do better at making myself heard, especially on things that i am passionate about
Much love, and i am happy to see you again!!
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